Marriage’s Work-Out: 5 Must Haves
Hmmm, whatever happened to the butterflies that used to fly in one‘s stomach during courtship period? Now that you are married, you no longer feel them in your stomach. Suddenly, they stopped flying! Could it that be someone cut their wings? Could you be that someone?
Whatever happened to that touch - that magical touch that sends butterflies to your stomach? Ah, it just feels like a mere touch now. No sparkle. No magic. No butterflies in the stomach!
Marriage is serious work! Hard work. Real work. It’s surprising how the first few weeks of marriage is beautiful and sweet. And then suddenly things start to get awry because, we soon forget that we need to put as much (even more) energy, attention and time that we put on other things and people on our marriage. Sadly, our jobs, extended relatives, friends, religion, and oftentimes children, get the most of us. And sometimes, we often forget the primary LAW of marriage, which states that:
For this cause (this reason; the reason of MARRIAGE), shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave (hold fast, be smitten with, be joined) to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh (above all else; above parents, children; jobs; money or anything or anyone): so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man (no man; no man’s ideas; job; no child; parents; friends, etc.) put a-sunder.
Apparently, most married couples on the brink of divorce, have either tossed this law into the being or are taking themselves and God for granted – because God is the instigator of marriage, and whatever he creates is perfect!
Great Marriage is Huge Work
I recently just discovered five key ingredients that will keep every marriage going provided couples are ready to put them into good use. Mind you, they are not easy to apply, their application depends on having mutual agreement in wanting to make the union work, having strong will and determination, and of course, the help of the Holy Spirit.
1. Energy: Many men and women get up every day with a determination to succeed and get promotion at their places of work. The zeal to seal a deal burns in them like wildfire, and they can even get insomnia to make that happen. But when it comes to their marriages, that can wait, after all, marriage isn’t the thing bringing in the money.
How beautiful will it be if couples can exact the same vigour, drive, determination on their marriages as they do on their jobs? Your marriage needs similar energy and more to really really work.
2. Innovation: Ideas, they say, rule the world. People, the world over, come up with diverse ideas daily that catch global attention. Glory to God for giving us the ability to innovate. But should innovation, inventions or creativity be limited to the educational, career, religious, and governmental world alone? How about we get creative with our partners – creative in the room, kitchen, in our friendship style, in relating with one another, in our dates times, when we call ourselves on phone – creative in our love life in general?
3. Time: Time is money. Time is life. Time is love. For most people in a 9-5 kind of occupation, time is that scarce commodity. But perhaps, the little, once in a while time can be spent judiciously and deliberately with yours truly. No children. No gadgets. No third-parties! Trust me, your other half will relish the moment.
4. Attention: Attention is key in any relationship. Tell me that someone that loves being ignored, and I will tell you that the person either doesn’t exist or needs psychiatric attention. Even the people that appear nonchalant silently crave attention. When you give each other attention often, it shows you still matter a great deal to one another. It shows you’re both important to one another. It shows you are each other’s priority. And that way you have less problems.
5. Love: You often hear people say “I love what I do” and truly you see the passion they give to whatever they do because they love doing it. In the same manner, they claim to love their spouses. They even tell them they love them, but at the slightest form of provocation, they want out! Meanwhile, they won’t give up that job they are passionate about even if the workload is much, or there’s a difficult boss/colleague who poses a threat to them or they are not meeting targets or they are losing customers. They will want to do all they can to breakthrough because they are passionate about what they do.
“Love bears all things”. Does the love you have for your spouse bear his/her flaws, inadequacies, down times, illnesses, lacks, naggings, snoring, mess and disorders, grammatical blunders, prayerlessness, stubbornness, etc.?
Love is the most important ingredient in any marriage, because God Himself is that LOVE. Rekindle it!
Examine your relationship with your spouse today and see if all of these ingredients are there. If not, find a way to add them. They must go along with you in your marital journey, and they will do you and yours a world of good.