Re: Is Marriage Really Scary? An SOS Call



I wrote this article (http://bukolaajayi.blogspot.com/2011/03/is-marriage-really-scary-sos-call.html) 2 days ago and promised to publish noteworthy comments I get from it so that 1 or 2 couples, presently going through marital hitches, can learn and probably prayerfully work on them. Well, here they are. I kind of highlighted some key points made, and I’m still waiting for more experienced couples to contribute…Help save a marriage. Excerpt:


True Friend said: “Men will always have attitudes that irritate women. Do most of them ever listen? There will always be a loophole where a guy is lacking to his woman.

One of my aunties went through a serious one. In her case, she wanted to leave her marriage because the guy has this nonchalant attitude towards things. He had no job then, she was trying to get the kids to a decent private school, use all her money to feed, maintain, and support her home. She had no savings. She later found out that when the guy gets little money from some business, he hides it. The crazy thing is, he hides it in his shoes. How annoying that can be. She was so frustrated, but I guess that is marriage. That is from a woman's point of view.

From the man side, I will add my experience. I am a strong, independent lady. I see myself as not needing a man to get to where I am going. I wait for no man. My focus is on God. I always tell myself only God can provide for me. I am so independent that it irritates many men. This makes my boyfriend angry. He feels I am so self centred, so selfish and no traces of humility. I understand that and I try to change but when we fight....... oh my God, my weakness wears me, and I feel I don't need him to do what I need to do. My question is how long he can take this. Will he not wake up one day and say “I am tired of your selfish attitude."?

My point is we are all different; we all have bad attitudes that turn people off. We tend to notice the good attitude initially, but because characters are like flames one cannot hide for so long. We need to know that our partners may have something we don't like. That doesn't mean we will leave him. Our siblings do things that annoy us; do we reject them for that? Our parents sometimes make us want to run away from home, does that mean we will abandon them?

Marriage is more that sex and having children. It is about growing together, understand one another, respecting each other, seeing beyond the weakness and hoping for a better and brighter day. Christ loves us regardless of our faults; we should love most especially our partner regardless.

To the women, I will say hang in there, you will see the joy in taking wisdom from God. To the men, I guess you just need to understand her better.”

Ahyour said: … I think that 'love' alone cannot sustain a relationship. I do not know of any living thing that withers and suffocates as easily as love. Love is like a flower - beautiful; water it 2 flourish or leave it 2 wither. What we mostly do is 2 get d flower, forgetting that d flower needs......

Doc said: … I've not been married for even a second, so my comments may not come from experience, but I believe marriage is God's ordained institution and He should always be kept as the third person of the relationship, by the partners individually and together. For those who fear Him, that should go a long way. There's a song the lyrics of which I love, but space. Keep up!.... I believe marriage is God's idea and to run it without Him and in conflict to His principles is a sure way to failure.

Omenai said: “Well it depends on the foundation of the marriage, marriage has its own ups & downs; it depends on how you handle it but with God marriage is the best institution ever created by God. So don't be scared to go into it. God will see u through.

Lyrics supplied by Doc:

What God Has Joined Together-By David&Rita Baroni

1. When a man and a woman; become husband and wife

They agree to love each other; for the rest of their lives

So when problems come between them; they’ll always be reminded

Of a promise they’ve ...made….

That what god has joined together; will not be put asunder

The storm that shakes the earth can’t tear it down

And what God has joined together; with a sure foundation under

It stands because it’s built on Holy Ground


2. When a family stands united; with God’s love and one accord

The harmony they live in; brings glory to the Lord

With trust and communication; the love they share will grow

It will weather all the storms because they know….


3. With the blood that Jesus shed; He purchased His bride

He showed how much He loved her by giving His life

When we join ourselves to Jesus; trust His love with all our heart

Then the pow’rs of hell itself can never draw us apart……

I say: I believe there is more…and there’s someone whose experience(s) really counts. I’m waiting. We are waiting. But in the meantime, stay in love.

Love you.

Comments

  1. Aeish!...Now this is awesome & charming thoughts gathered with the sole intention of salvaging a beautiful institution whose wall is already cracking and about to bow down to the very flat level of its foundation...DOPE Baby!...I couldn't agree less to the insights of the much experience friends on this fundamental issue..thanks once again for sharing Bukola...More Blessings!

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  2. ok...this is impressive o my in-law.

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  3. Oh, thanks for stopping by. Glad you found the post impressive...

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