Is Marriage Really Scary? An SOS Call
This thought has been on my mind for so long. Sure, it’s no news; people talk about it; I’ve seen some myself, so the talk about failed or failing marriages is not so new. What’s new to me however, is the fact that marriages that are just 2, 3 months are failing. It just so sad; and the truth? It scares me, really.
Someone shared with me a sad story recently, about a couple who got married barely 3 months ago and are on verge of breaking up. According to the story, they are having serious issues that the wife threatened to poison the husband if the marriage isn’t dissolved. Though, I didn’t hear the end of the story; but I hope and pray they won’t separate. I find it hard to believe that people who once professed love to themselves suddenly come to hate themselves…. Hmmm, thin line it is indeed between hate and love.
It then makes me wonder…if those that dated for so long – 2, 3, 5, even 10 years – could have problems; what do we make of those that dated for months – 3, 6, 9 months; those that were match-made; those that met online (**wink wink** if that really works); and so on?
Chaz B, radio personality, during one of his ‘Sharing Live Issues’ programmes asked married couples to call in and describe what love is… So many definitions came up that day; but two particular callers (ladies) caught my attention; the first one said “my husband is everything love is; he’s caring; god-fearing…blah, blah, blah. Then Chaz B asked, ‘how long have you been married’; she replied ‘3 months’; then Chaz B replied… ‘Let’s hope you’ll still say the same thing about him after 1 year’.
The second lady said ‘My husband is love because I don’t know how to explain how he can marry me knowing full well that I am HIV positive and he is negative; and 10 years down the line, he still has not changed…loves and adores me…’ Touching! 2 different worlds!
Also, during another of his programmes, he asked couples if they have ever contemplated leaving their marriages, and guess what? 90% of the callers that day answered in affirmative. Some have even left; many talked about their horrible experiences and much more… I can’t begin to type them here, but things are happening.
Recently reading TWFT and came across the article below. I believe it should help a bit. However, I will appreciate it if married couples can share their experiences so that youths, would-bes (like us) and newly weds can learn. Have you ever contemplated walking out of your marriage? If yes, what happened and how did you deal with the situation? You can post it on my blog – http://bukolaajayi.blogspot.com - (comment area) so you can remain anonymous or send to my box – firstname.lastname@example.org. It is an SOS call especially to couples that are having hard times. Remember, counselling helps, prayer helps, people's experiences too have a part to play. Your stories will be edited and tweaked so as not to reflect the writer. Thanks.
>>> 2 Lessons about Marriage
"There may be times you'll feel like giving up…but I want you to hang in there!"
Deborah K. Johnson writes: 'My seven-year-old daughter wanted to take violin lessons, so I took her to a music store to rent an instrument. Hoping she would understand the importance of making a commitment to practice, I explained that lessons were expensive. I was willing to make the financial sacrifice if she promised to work hard. "There may be times you'll feel like giving up," I said, "but I want you to hang in there!" She nodded, understanding, then in her most serious voice she said, "It will be just like marriage, right, Mom?''
A husband asked his wife, 'Tell me, dear, have you ever been in love before?' She thought for a moment and replied, 'No, darling. I once respected a man for his great intelligence. I admired another one for his remarkable courage. And I was captivated by yet another for his good looks and charm. But with you, well, how else could I explain it, except love?' Have you been finding fault with your mate instead of remembering the qualities that attracted you to them? Attitudes are like weeds, they spring up overnight and if you don't deal with them they take over the whole garden. Don't let that happen!
Next time you're too busy to show love, or you react in anger, read these words: 'Love is patient and kind. Love... does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged... Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance' (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT).