Should I Take the Risk?

Risk is something most of us don't like taking but the truth is it is all around us. Life is a risk itself! If we have ever thought of the risk involved in sleeping and possibly not waking up, we won't be sleeping at all - because waking up or not is a 50-50 chance. It's not guaranteed! How about the risk involved in investment? This too is a probability - what we're investing in may or may not yield high returns but we still invest anyway.

In like manner, relationships too are full of risks. Someone once told me that some unmarried guys are afraid of commitments. I've also read somewhere where a lady openly confessed her fears for commitment...well that's understandable considering the separation/divorce rate in marriage. But then, shouldn't you still take the risk and see if yours will work out?

What I find a little bit absurd is the fact that some cannot even take the risk of wooing (or toasting) a lady they like for fear of being rejected. I mean, that's something else. And for the ladies, how many of us can dare to be like 'Ruth', who went after the person she liked even if it meant sleeping at his feet? Yeah, I know...our culture and religion does not permit a woman to woo. But let me ask, should we die in silence even if you know the person is the right one? What's stopping a woman from risking it? I mean, the worst case is she'll be seen as cheap ( and probably uncultured). But if that's who she wants and she's convinced (prayerfully now), what is stopping her? Culture, religion! Hmmmmmmmmm.

You may think, Bukola has gone weird now with this her write ups...but read this:

A story was told of a lady who at first had a crush on a guy in her neighbourhood when they were young. Fortunately (or unfortunately) they were very close. Gradually, the crush turned to love
and the guy didn't show her he hated her as well. But he didn't ask her out. As time went on the guy had to go somewhere to school (university) and the lady too went to a different school. They graduated from their respective schools - still very good friends, still keeping in touch - but the guy still did not ask her out! It went on like that for years until the lady's parent started drawing her attention to the fact that she wasn't getting any younger. Suitors were coming for her, but she kept turning them down; 'faithing' it that one day her childhood love would speak up. After all, they were so close there was no secret between them, it was only natural for him to be her husband.

This went on until she was 32, and her childhood love, though not married himself, yet refused to ask for her hand in marriage. Then came this other guy, who would do anything just to have her as his. With family and friends pressuring her to accept the huge proposal, she gave in finally, although her heart belonged to someone else. Then came the big wedding and childhood friend was invited. He arrived 2 days to the wedding (with mixed feelings) and went straight to the lady's house (since they were very close). After catching up on old times and all, the lady couldn't hold it any longer. Then she opened up. Told him: 'It would have been you!'. Dropped like a bomb shell, the guy too admitted he had feelings for her, but was thinking she was like her sister and that he doesn't want to destroy the brotherly relationship they had. Nonsense! But too bad the wedding had to go on. This lady got married, has 2 kids now, even though her heart still belonged to her childhood love. The childhood love, on the other hand is yet to get married with the belief that the lady might still come back to her. So sad.

Although some religious organisations help in wooing (as long as you're convinced the person is right for you and have prayed seriously about it). But what if you wish to take the risk yourself (especially for ladies)? That lady's case would have been reversed if she had spoken up or told someone to help talk to the guy. Maybe then the guy would gain courage to express himself.

I'm just thinking out loud. I may be wrong, and we can't dispute the fact that I may also be right. I'm not imposing this on anyone, and that's the reason the heading is a question. Like Ben Carson wrote in the book 'Take the Risk':

- What is the WORST that could happen if a lady PROPOSES to a guy?
- What is the BEST that could result should she PROPOSE?
- What is the WORST that could happen if she DOES NOT PROPOSE?
- What is the BEST that could result is she DOES NOT PROPOSE?

Like I said, I'm just thinking out loud. Writing this is even a risk for me, because already I know what some people will be thinking after reading this. But life is a risk, and I'm taking it. So I'll take the risk of posting this no matter what.

Your comments will be highly appreciated.



  1. Tunji Ogunjimi9 June 2010 at 01:13

    i really appreciate your effort in writing this piece. it's really sad to know that ladies are still being subjected to this kind of treatment. personally i dont approve of it at all.
    i think it all boils down to insincerity and immaturity on the part of guys that are involved in such. any God-fearing guy would not be guilty of this. why would anyone be around a lady for so long knowing fully well that he has 'other things' clouding his mind? why would anyone make a lady to enrol at 'courage-building tutorial centre' when he could save the day by a sentence?
    i believe this is a wake up call to guys to take this issue more seriously and be careful of the impression they are painting.


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