Debunking Marriage Myths (2)

Marriage myth 2: The myth of the 'right person,' suggests happiness in marriage depends entirely on finding the right person. It's said to be a matter of luck, Cupid, the alignment of the stars, the moon hitting your eye like a big pizza pie, etc., occasionally even God. Just find the right person and they'll make your life supremely happy, romantic, excited, fulfilled, blissful. They will become, as the song says, 'that old black magic' that holds you in its spell, leading you into the enchanted land of endless love. It's all up to them. And nothing ever felt more convincingly real or right!


Despite the advice of friends and family, we'll 'give away the farm' and turn ourselves inside out to keep this addictive, magic happening. When it stops (and it does), three things happen: 1) we cry, manipulate, bribe, and later blame, vilify and consider them phonies for changing on us and making us miserable. 'He's not the man I married,' we complain. He may not be the person you expected him to be (that person doesn't exist outside your myth) but he is the one you married and the problem isn't all his 2) we label him 'the wrong person' and either search for the right one or give up on the opposite sex as being false, faithless and fickle 3) we learn the truth: there is no right person to make us happy always. At that point we're set free to find happiness by becoming the right person, the one God created us to be, giving generously, allowing others to be real, limited, changeable humans, and looking to God for our joy!

Culled from: The Vine

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