20 Marital ‘Magic-Wands’ My Friend Shared with Me

“Love itself is invisible, but wherever it dwells it produces such effects that its presence soon becomes known. It makes people gentle, kindly, thoughtful, unselfish, and fills them with new desires to do good, and to serve and bless others. And wherever Christ is, love is, in all its pervasive, transforming influence ” ~ the Vine

I have many friends. I really do. They are so many that I find it difficult to constantly stay in touch with them. Some I don’t even contact for weeks, even months, yet they still find ‘a place for me in their hearts’. I’m sure they’re reading this and they’ll understand...*wink*.

And so, one of my numerous dear friends sent me series of relationship/marital advice (edited) that I think are worth sharing on my blog. (Did I mention he sent them via SMS? Yes, he did!). Peodavies as he is often called, or Olutayo Irantiola if you will, is married and has these for the married (as well as the singles). I find them exhilarating, and I believe they’ll inspire you too. As we look forward to the weekend, grab your popcorn, and explore...............kisses.

1.    “The (marital) club has many rules: silence - ability to learn fast, taking to correction; patience, endurance; giving all to make it work; knowing how to rock and still storms; encouragement; caring and closeness to one's spouse alone and committing all to God at all times. God help you in all. Have a great experience in marriage.”

2.    “I speak that which I have seen with my Father: and ye do that which ye have seen with your father - John 8:38. Such a challenge from Jesus! What is your family seeing from you? Go show them the best example. Stay teaching”

3.    Let's reason again. Men are the head of the family; Christ is the head of the church. What is the head expected 2 do?
* Provide 4 family 1Tim 5:8.
* Love his wife. Col3:19a
* Don't be bitter against them. Col3:19b.
* Be spiritual in charge to avoid doing what does not please God. If Adam had been in charge Eve would not sin. Gen 3.
* Dwell with your spouse with knowledge 1Pet3:7a
* Give honour unto them as unto weaker vessels meaning that when one knows something is not strong, it must be handled with care. 1Pet3:7b
* Equality before God.1Pet3:7c
* That your prayer be not hindered.1Pet3:7d
* To avoid sickness-hypertension etc
* So that you won't miss heaven.

     4.  “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Pro19:13, better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. Pro21:19. A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand. Pro27:15-16. Men love living with virtuous wives and not quarrelsome one.”

5.    “The man is the giver; the woman is the receiver and incubator. The woman does not initiate life but she responds to what is initiated. She gives to her children what she receives from her husband. It's time to teach your family, my man!”

6.    “I wish you a (marriage) filled with all fruits of love such as kiss, hugs, use good ornaments, celebrate with the love of your youth, say lovely words, stir love when you are up to the task, bright countenance, never allow third-parties, treat special, thinking about him/her, take him/her to your people, share gifts, let issues not kill your love. All attributes in the Songs of Solomon.”

7. “Guys: Our lives are our wives and our wives are our lives. Remember, they were taken out of us. The way we want our lives to be is the state that we keep them. When they are gloomy, we have headache, when they are happy, we have peace. Congrats!”

         8. "‘If there are two leaders in a marriage then one of them is unnecessary' - Ruth Graham. If a woman says this, then you need to re-examine your stand in your union.”

9.    Ladies: how comfortable is your guy to stay at home with you? How neat is your abode? How good are your meals? What do you say to him? How do you say it? How supportive are you? How much do you tell him? How long do you listen 2 him? Stay positive in all these and retain the man of your dream.”

10.  “Ladies, do you call your man your Lord? Do you obey him? Do you honour him? Do you respect him? Do you submit to him sufficiently?  Sarah did those. Do these to make your man the best for your life. Never say complacently that he is used to me. Your change could be the magic wand to much more love.”

11.  Friends, these words are powerful than we think: SOULMATE, SWEETHEART, BETTER HALF, MY COUPLE, MY DARLING, MY LOVE. Look deep into these words and live up to them! Stay loving.
     12.  “Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband; that she notices him, regards him, honour him, prefers him, venerates him and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him and loves and admires him exceedingly. Eph 5:33-amplified bible. What else can be called total submission?”

   13.  “Guys, let us cry to God and not loss our respect, self esteem and worth in our perspective about money with our women. Remember, u should provide...”

    14.  “Guys: Bouncing! Accusing! Punching! Nagging! Beating (worse of it all)! Quarrelling! Forcing! Unloving! Never wrong! Always Angry! Unforgiving! Egoism! Unapproachable! Mood undeterminable! Which of these are you to your lady? You need to change!”

       15.  “Pal, why do you think the Governor of Niger State uses the title Chief Servant? To lead is to serve. Jesus gave us an example by washing the feet of his disciples (John 13:5). It is your turn to lead her and family by serving them also.”

16.  “How successful are you at managing people outside? How glad are you to help others? How easy is it for you to forgive outsiders? That woman with you, how successful is she? How often and willingly do you help her? How easy is it for you to forgive her? Be the best to her first then extend it to others. Love(charity) begins at home.”

17.  “Guys: why do we always behave as if we don't have mothers? You can tolerate your mum but not your lady. Remember, whatever will not make you tolerate this lady is just like writing a note to hypertension. Also, we keep in mind that our lives were raised differently even if we are now one.”

18.  “Guys, let us unlearn (erase) those theories. Men are strong! Men are not, it is easier for a woman to frustrate a guy than we can attempt. Men must be rigid! The more rigid you are, the more you chase people away from you. Men can do anything they want in and out of marriage! Your pocket, health and destiny will suffer for it. A lady must be pregnant before you marry her! God gives children not you. Whatever theories we have heard, let us unlearn and do all to make our relationship and marriage work!”

19.  “I would be glad 2 see that the two of you have studied one another, understand one another and as such win one another's heart. There is no better way 2 live in harmony...If we are prudent in the same way, think in the same manner, act the same way, share the same feelings. There is no need to be helpmeet then.”

20.  “'Mo iwa fun oniwa, lo n je ore jore' (Yoruba proverb). Understanding one another...My wish is that in few hours, I see you guys bond more and it starts from now. Apologise, be close as much as possible, speak out your hurts and the two of u come 2 agreement. Please, be flexible as much as possible. The Lord help you and bless your union. You will not regret it in Jesus name. Much love.”


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