Home NOT Home
I am not going to do any story on Koko Mansion or the latest prada... You can get all those from Linda Ikeji or Bella Naija.
I'm kinda concerned about something that concerns you and I. Call me old fashion, whatever. If someone takes time to reflect on this, he or she may probably see reasons, except of course if the person has lost flair for life.
What's bothering me is the issue of marriages - most especially the home front. It bothers me that the people who could not wait to start living together before marriage now find pleasure in their jobs more than in their spouses.
Imagine a typical scenario of a doctor 'wife' and a banker 'husband'. The wife is probably on call the only Saturday that the husband has to be at home. And the husband is just getting home at 11pm when the wife is about to go for her night duty.... Impossible, you say!
How about both of them being bankers? They both get home tired and fagged at 11:00pm; probably had dinner at a close by fast food joint before getting home and once they get home, the next point of call is the bed (some even forget to take a shower before hopping unto the bed) and by 4am, they're up so as to beat the famous 3rd mainland bridge traffic.
They can't both be bankers, one of them will have to resign. How convenient? How easy?
Also take a female editor of a print media who will have to work round the clock during production, just so every fact is checked for emphasis and every 'i' is dotted as is the convention, and the husband is home, living like a bachelor, eating bread and akara - since it's fast and can fill the belly; and trying to get ready for the next day's work.... Not even expecting his BUSY wife since it's a norm.
The home is no longer a home. Hmmm. I just ask myself what a home is and I discovered that aside from the oxford's point of view or the encyclopaedia's opinion, the home is YOU and YOURS. The home is LOVE. The home is LAUGHTER. The home is good SEX. The home is sharing happy and wonderful past/present MEMORIES. The home is a good SMILE from you or yours. The home is appreciating YOURS. The home is sitting back in your spouses' arms and forgetting that you're still alive...dreaming about heaven...forgetting your sorrows.....
Can we ever get this kind of home with a lot of us pursuing career like we cannot survive without it?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not against working or building career. I'm a career person myself and will love to have a greater one.
What I am against is the busyness.... Why should our career dictate the pace? Why should our happiness or lives depend on our career? Why should everything be this way?
We see couples get married today and divorce in 1 year... partly because of their jobs. What's really happening?
Some people might not share my views but it's something that needs to be addressed. A lot of times kids get affected for the ones who have kids already. It's the househelp or an aunt that they know. Never their dad or mum. Such kids never even know what it means to be influenced by mum or dad....it's just like being an orphan.
Some spouses too get affected - when it is one partner that is busy and the other gets lonely and frustrated all the time.
We want to be rich. We want to make a living. We want to be known. We want to take care of our children. We want to forget we were ever poor. We want to wear the latest... Our degrees must not waste away... Excuses, excuses, excuses. And for what? For who? To get cardiac arrest at the end of it all or repetitive strain injury or cancer or arthritis.........
Shouldn't you take up the job that will boost your career or make you forget poverty for the rest of your life even though it is demanding? You ask, I ask.
How, and I repeat, how can we manage our career and home? What can we do?
Don't just tell me pray, please give practical steps that can be taken.
The home must be a home that it is designed to be - job or not!