Lowly – Without Pretensions
I want to deviate a bit from my usually and favourite subject - relationships, and write about an entirely different issue that has been bothering my mind since I stepped into my office and the issue was raised one morning.
Who am I? Why do I feel I’m better than someone else? What’s giving me the self-esteem that I show forth? Why don’t I see the need to hold others in high regards? Why don’t I want to submit? As a woman, I don’t see my self lower than a man. We are equals – help mate; are we not?
These questions and more came into my mind when I was reading a copy of Genevieve magazine in my office and a colleague saw the particular article and commented on it.
In the article, a woman, Mrs. Bola Adesola, was featured as one of the front runners in the business sector in Nigeria – in particular, the banking industry. My colleague, seeing what I was reading and who I was reading about, passed a comment on the subject. His words: “I know this woman very well. She’s a client’s wife and she’s one of the humblest women I’ve ever known. As rich as she is, she bears her husband’s name unlike some women who would bear their maiden name hyphen their husband’s. Hers is not like that.”
Really touched by what he said, I had to read up on the woman some more. Though, I’ve not met her personally, but I had to agree with my colleague and looking at her, she exudes such character.
Encarta describes humility as …relatively low…without pretensions; modest and respectful. Hmmm – such powerful description. Which brings me back to my earlier questions – let’s take them one after the other.
Who am I?
A story was told of the late Tai Solarin that in his life time, he was always bowing for children when greeting them but elders, he waved. When asked why he does that, he replied “we already know what these elders have become, there’s nothing new for them to achieve again, but these young ones, we don’t know what they’ll become in future. We might find some of them becoming presidents, senators and even CEOs.”
Absurd, right? Depends on how you see it, but I was able to draw out the fact that Tai Solarin displayed a sense of humility. He bowed for kids who don’t know the significance or importance of his actions; he bowed for kids who were nothing as at then – but believing they’d be something; he bowed for kids who couldn’t even help him attain any height, but elders that could, he waved; he bowed for kids who might as well die before realising their future hopes (or dreams); he bowed for kids his grand children age – who should have been bowing to him; he bowed for kids because he felt they were better than him and could be better.
This means that there no harm in treating people equally and with love, respect and great regard, irrespective of the person’s status, - rich, poor, tall short, fat, slim, boss, junior staff (even security), house-help, etc. Until you begin to see yourself as no one – this does not mean devaluing yourself, if you understand what I mean – then there will be no one on earth that you’ll be incapable of respecting.
Thoughts: I am just a privileged human being; fortunate to be created as such and not as an animal; gifted with people – whom I’m given to appreciate, honour and love; privileged to have all that makes life worth living. I am of GOD and so is my fellow human being – who deserves respect without pretension. I am but a man who blossom today, but tomorrow might be no more – just like the story of the grass. All I am I owe to God and I have no right to feel I’m better than someone else. But I have a right feel or see someone as better than me. That’s just the secret of lifting!
Why do I feel I’m better than someone else?
Privileged to get a job in a multinational company? Then you think you’re the best. You and your friend did the test together, but they preferred you to him or her, because they saw something in you. Good. And then caucus must change. Big job means big friends not the types who don’t wear the latest Jewel by Lisa, Tiffany Amber, or L’UOMO. Levels don change.
At the moment of arrival, how are you? What’s your relationship with people like? Are you the type who will change your phone line because a friend is pestering you to connect him or her for a post in your office? (Thank God lines are as cheap as N150 now).
An old school mate visited my office in first week of February since our graduation in 2004; and trust, we couldn’t stop gisting. Our gist was centred on other old school mates and what’s happening to them. I discovered, from the story he told me, that the 1st class – ish and 2.1 – nish aren’t positioned or working in big firms – they’re the ones roaming the streets of Lagos looking for jobs or just managing somewhere (except for a few like me – lol). But the 2.2 –ish and 3rd class –ish even pass –ish are getting great jobs. The point or question now is, who is better than who?
Being better doesn’t come by grades, looks, status, present position in the office or society, office (work place), friends and connections, and so on. The point is, tides CAN turn. While you’re better, learn to be lowly; learn to love and learn to look at people with the “same old eyes”. You’re better than them today, they may be tomorrow. The man you rejected to marry today because he’s jobless and not better than your house-help may become your boss tomorrow. What do you think?
Thoughts: I’m better than others for a purpose. I’m better in order to bring the best out of my friends (family) and not to bring the worst out of them. I’m better so that they (my friends, family) could be identified with someone better and treated as such. I am better (or get a better job opportunity) so I could SERVE others – with my money, time, influence, and even educate them on how to get better too. I don’ have to change my circle of friends because I’m now rich. I don’t have to LEAVE the friends that envy my riches, instead I’ll love them more, keep them more, and help them to grow out of the envious attitude. I have to make them know it’s still me – wealth or not, status or not, promotion or not, marriage or not.
To be continued…
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